just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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