Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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