you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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