I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
