guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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