C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
