i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
