rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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