Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
