Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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