i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
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