Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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