Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
