no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
