He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
