I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize
