I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
This is my gift to your gina
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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