NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Mom said you looked used
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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