what if every blade of grass was a penis?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
