Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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