...so i touched it.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Your penis caused this!
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
