I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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