if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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