I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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