I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
