i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
