party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Randomize
