We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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