this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You were trust falling into bushes
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
