My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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