This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Randomize
