She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
