The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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