I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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