How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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