Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
she looked like the before picture.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
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