and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
