Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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