My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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