There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
