You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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