THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
