I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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