My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
