Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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