Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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