I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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