You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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