Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
