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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?

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• (818): View more from California

  Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?

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• (646): View more from New York

  According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...

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• (210): View more from Texas

  I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.

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• (845): View more from New York

  "He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.

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