i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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