Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
