The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
