We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
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I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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