Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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