we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize