You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Don't EVER smell your tampon
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
It's blow job season.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
