The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
