i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
