remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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