We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
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