dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
