Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
