He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
