if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
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