Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Last time i carry you out of a forest
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
