he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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