her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Randomize
