That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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