So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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